He is sooo....beautiful! I may be partial, but trust me if you met him, and really got to know him you would say the same thing, not just off his looks, but his personality. I can't believe I gave birth to such a wonderful being. Me, this imperfect person, striving to do right at all times, yet still manages to make som mistakes here or there, got the privelage to be a mommy! WOW!
That was totally how I thought the first moment I laid eyes on my first son. I still feel the same way this very day, 4 years later. I was a young mommy-to-be. He came along as a huge surprise. My husband and I had only been married for 3 months or so. At first awareness that I was carrying a tiny seed within, I was shocked, scared, happy, nervous, and mostly I just cried. My hubbie, he was so excited he took the garbage out as soon as I asked him to, not waiting until the next day or even next week, (LOL, he did literally....picked up the garbage went outside with a beaming smile, as if he had done his fellow mankind some good :o)
We were young, just starting out, things were shaky financially, basically just enough for us to get by, not a third person too! Well we accepted this blessing and so did our family. At the time, I never was truly open to all of the birthing options that were available to mothers. I just knew you got pregnant, you had a doctor, you had a baby at the hospital, the staff and the doctor would take care of the both of you, you would go home, and everything was peaches and cream from that point on. (HA HA HA HA, I laugh now)
Even though the pregnancy and birth of my first son was very mainstream, I have accepted it and I do not look back at it as something bad, or "how could you have birthed that way", "that wasn't natural", "you let them do that to you". That birth was very satisfying to my "taste" at that time. I was medically induced, labor started @ 1:00p, I received stadol, labored hard, but I was able to manage, I did not have an epidural, I pushed 5 or 6 times, my baby arrived healthy @ 2:03a the following morning and I ended with a 1st degree tear. I nursed right away and BF continued to be an easy thing for us. I had all the routine newborn procedures performed, including circumcision.
Once home, I did not realize it at the time, but eventually after doing research on my own, I realized that I had been suffering from PPD, (at the time of discovery 4 months had elapsed). I began treatment with anti-depressants, but I could not handle the fact that many people become dependant on such medication, and I was not willing to live on a pill to cope. Through prayer, faith, and awesome support, I was able to tackle that issue, become healthy again and care for myself and family as I needed and wanted to.
The outcome of this birth, has been a reward. At times challenging, but I would not allow anyone to take my place or his! My baby is now 4 years old. He is very imaginative now. His mind is bigger than he is. His smile is the first thing you would notice, (as his father's smile is the first thing that melted me), he is very thoughtful and concerned for others. He is inquisitive, wanting to know all and do all. He loves baseball, football, movie time with family, traveling, fruits and veggies, cars, and the list goes on. He is my Prince, my sunshine, (I use to sing, "You are my Sunshine", to him every morning when he was a baby and early tot, and I still do at times).
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